10 Enduring Truths About Friendship:

Friendships are among the most essential and supportive types of relationships you will ever establish, because while family relationships are (typically) non-negotiable, friendship is a voluntary institution.

The voluntary nature of friendships, and our mutual commitment to the relationships are the hallmarks of any friendship’s very existence. Unless two people consider their relationship a friendship, it simply doesn’t exist.

Unfortunately, recent research indicates that most people are unable to accurately identify those who have truly earned a place in their friendship network. In fact, according to the research, only about half of the relationships that we perceive as friendships actually are friendships.

In our culture, more is always assumed to be better. But the real measure of your relationships might be found in asking yourself how many of your social media friends or followers would be willing to lend you cab fare or offer you a place to sleep if you turned up unexpectedly. That’s the kind of investment in a relationship that true friendship warrants and that true friends provide.

Is there a downside to moving through life thinking more people are our friends than actually are? It depends on expectations: If you don’t expect a lot from a friend, it probably doesn’t hurt to assume each likes you as much as you like them. Following the old adage to treat others the way you would like to be treated isn’t a bad idea.

Treating everyone like they are a good friend may make your path through life a little easier. Being kind, providing favors, and helping others can actually make you feel better about yourself and life.

Friendship can offer an enduring lifelong bond and become an unrivaled source of mutual support, both emotional and instrumental—but it is important to recognize that a friendship untended can quickly become a friendship ended.

Genuine friendships take more than a post on a network to keep them strong, although no one could argue that those are convenient places for friendships to begin. Shared interests and proximity—real or virtual—are the fastest paths to finding friends, and if that intersection of two lives begins online, it can yet develop into its own type of relationship over time.

Remember: Not every friendship is going to be a “friends forever” type of relationship; sometimes, it is about “friends of convenience” and those we need most in a situation. And if things grow less convenient, and that individual isn’t available in the way that he or she once used to be, that’s actually quite allright.

Studies show that most adults have only one or two close friends beyond their significant others.

“ Don’t treat as patient treat as Human being.”

Health is wealth we all know this. But what is health?  Have we understood the word health?

Health is a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity is the definition of health giving by world health organization in the year 1948.  Well friends many of us are found wanting when it comes to understanding this definition.

Once a middle aged man who was working as a software engineer developed sudden chest pain and was admitted in a private hospital. Doctors who examined him told him that he had suffered a severe myocardial infarction and advised surgical intervention as soon as possible. So as per doctors’ advice he was operated within a week and his medical condition stabilized. He was discharged and was doing well. Within few days he again developed recurrent palpitations, sweating, chest discomfort and sleep disturbances. He consulted the doctors again who found everything normal in him. The software engineer was not satisfied so he consulted many doctors with no improvement. He started surfing the internet with no satisfying answers. He developed severe sleep disturbances and started to be very irritable towards others. He preferred to be alone. Hence he consulted a psychiatrist. On interview he told he had many financial constraints and had frequent worries about his health and how he is going to take care of his family. He was counseled and advised few medications and advised follow up. He improved within a week and he started to go work as usual. Within few months all his somatic complaints disappeared and he felt as healthy as before.

Another old woman came to a psychiatrist with complaints of uncontrolled diabetes mellitus even after regular insulin injection, severe itching in her legs, sleep disturbances and frequent worries about her future. She started to develop suicidal ideations and had frequent crying spells. Her records showed she had consulted many doctors with no improvement. On detailed interview she told she was a retired teacher.   She had lost her husband and her children have deserted her. She had no one to take care of her. She told she was not able to share this to anyone as no one was keen enough to listen to her. She was counseled and put on drugs and advised follow up. After two months she improved well .Her blood sugar levels came under control. Her skin lesions disappeared and she was able to sleep well. In both the incidents the persons were not given time to share their mental suffering which deteriorated their physical condition. Many of us think treating a person’s physical condition is enough. Treating a mental suffering is his own problem. Mental sufferings can worse a physical condition and a physical condition can worse a mental suffering and vice versa. We should understand this basic fact. You can’t be happy when you are depressed even though you are physically healthy. 

“ Don’t treat as patient treat as human being.” This was told to me by one of my senior teachers. Yes, friends many a time spending a little bit of time and speaking to a person in suffering is all he needs. It can solve many of his problems. So as a care giver as a family member as a friend and as a doctor it is our responsibility to respect others suffering not just by helping in their physical suffering but also  sharing a few minutes with them and listening to their mental suffering and thereby helping them in social well-being.

“I’m not concerned with your liking or disliking me... All I ask is that you respect me as a human being -Jackie Robinson:  first African-American to play in Major League Baseball in the modern era.

” LET’S MAKE A DIFFERENCE. "

Please don't hurt me..

Even in the modern world a mentally ill person finds himself living in an unsupported and abusive world. He does not get the same recognition a visually handicapped or a physically challenged person gets. It may be partly due to the difficulty in identifying who is normal and who is abnormal and mainly due to our lack of knowledge.
                                                               When i was a small child in our village we had two twin brothers who were mentally ill. They used to have a dis-inhibited behavior and were quite aggressive at times. I was very scared of them. So i used to hide myself if i happen to see them. I have also pelted stones on them a few times. But after my experience with the mentally disturbed persons as a postgraduate student in psychiatry I feel bad that I have behaved more cruelly and aggressively than the two twin brothers.

A mentally ill person is not harmful than any  so called normal person in the outside world who cheats his own wife or mother, kills his trustworthy partner, steals abuses other fellow human beings intentionally  and purposefully clearly knowing what he is doing. To care for a mentally ill person is definitely a tough task but at least we can try not to harm them beat them and tie them to chains. I have seen people being tied to trees beaten with sticks and treated more bad than stray dogs .I have even seen mentally ill persons who are tied to  trees and starved for days eating their own human waste.

What more harm can we do to them than this?

We may not be able to care for him but we can at least guide his care givers to take him to a nearby psychiatric hospital for treatment and try to make the caregivers understand this is an illness like any other and not due to the mentally ill person's previous sins and demonic possessions. Our government has even passed a mental health care bill 2013 which considers the rights of the mentally ill and even gives option for him to choose his treatment mode and punishment for those who run illegal mental-health care establishments. So it is time for we people.

Mental Health Bill 2013 News: http://www.thehindu.com/news/national/new-mental-health-bill-decriminalises-suicide/article5045156.ece

Please friends next time you come across a mentally disturbed person being ill-treated try to help and don’t turn a blind eye.

LET’S MAKE A DIFFERENCE.

Dr.Bevinsathya.