Today ( 10/10 ) is world mental health day. The theme for this year is Mental Health and Older Adults. I personally feel we have not understood the meaning of this theme .Well if we had understood it there won’t be any old age homes popping up here and there every day.
Few days back I had a chance to visit an old age home. It had inmate occupancy of fifty people. First I slowly walked around the home seeing most old people sitting lonely and a few talking to each other. In the kitchen few old women were cutting vegetables. Then I came to the main hall. I talked to a few persons over there. The first person was a retired clerk from railway who was brought here by his own son one year back. His son resides just a few kilometers away from the old age home. I asked the person" why did your son bring you here? He cleared his throat a bit and replied am a diabetic patient . I am not able to do my day to day work. So my daughter in law forced my son to bring me here". I spoke with him for a few more minutes before moving on to the next patient.
The next person was the senior most person of the old age home. He was an eight nine year old healthy man
whose son works as a general manager in postal department. I asked him "when did u come here?".He smiled at me. He asked me "Who are you?"I introduced myself. Then he started to speak."I am a retired teacher. My only son is in a very big post in postal dept.He is very busy so he was not able to take care of me. So he sent me here two years back with 200 rupees in my hand. I am not a pensioner. But my son sends me Rs500 every month as pocket money for my expense. I am happy here". He was very active and happy all through the interview. Then we organized a meeting for all the inmates in a hall.
whose son works as a general manager in postal department. I asked him "when did u come here?".He smiled at me. He asked me "Who are you?"I introduced myself. Then he started to speak."I am a retired teacher. My only son is in a very big post in postal dept.He is very busy so he was not able to take care of me. So he sent me here two years back with 200 rupees in my hand. I am not a pensioner. But my son sends me Rs500 every month as pocket money for my expense. I am happy here". He was very active and happy all through the interview. Then we organized a meeting for all the inmates in a hall.
I noticed one old woman sitting lonely not involved in the meeting. I went her and started to speak to her. She stopped me and asked "wait tell me when will my son come to see me?” I asked her when he last came to see her. She cried immediately and replied back “on the day of admission 15years back. He went to Sudan with his family. He is a doctor ".I had no words to console her. I started to talk to the gathering. I asked them “are you happy here?” They all told together that they were happy. After an interactive session finally at the end I asked them a sensitive question."Okay I know you are all happy here. But if one day your son or daughter realize their mistake and come to take you back what will you do?. There was a period of silence for about five minutes. After that one old woman from the front corner stood up and told" who does not like their children? I love them above all. After my husband's death I stood alone to save my family of three female children. Now each one of them are married and well settled. But now no one wants me. I like to live and die here itself." There was an eruption of claps from all the inmates.
Friends I noticed one common thing in all the inmates. Their children were all well settled and financially sound but they have left their parents in these old age homes which run by charity.”Are we doing justice to our self by doing so and neglecting our parents who have carried us, cried for us, prayed for us and finally sacrificed their needs for us? I was so unlucky to lose my grandparents at a very early age. I remember my parents who have sacrificed a lot for me and my brother in shaping our careers. How can I forget them? How Can I kick the ladder which helped me to go to higher heights? The day we feel the importance to care our elderly ones will be the day we become human beings. We extract all their energy when we need it but when they are tried and crumbled and need our energy we turn our backs. I think it is the duty of every one of us to repay our elderly parents with care and affection in their second childhood rather than blaming them for their shortfalls. By doing so and giving them moral support is very much necessary for them to have a normal mental life. Treat them and love them as you do with your children. Well friends think for yourself “have I ignored my parents?”And act immediately on this day because you maybe the next in line. Yes your children are watching you closely. It is never too late. Thank you.
LET’S MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
Friends I noticed one common thing in all the inmates. Their children were all well settled and financially sound but they have left their parents in these old age homes which run by charity.”Are we doing justice to our self by doing so and neglecting our parents who have carried us, cried for us, prayed for us and finally sacrificed their needs for us? I was so unlucky to lose my grandparents at a very early age. I remember my parents who have sacrificed a lot for me and my brother in shaping our careers. How can I forget them? How Can I kick the ladder which helped me to go to higher heights? The day we feel the importance to care our elderly ones will be the day we become human beings. We extract all their energy when we need it but when they are tried and crumbled and need our energy we turn our backs. I think it is the duty of every one of us to repay our elderly parents with care and affection in their second childhood rather than blaming them for their shortfalls. By doing so and giving them moral support is very much necessary for them to have a normal mental life. Treat them and love them as you do with your children. Well friends think for yourself “have I ignored my parents?”And act immediately on this day because you maybe the next in line. Yes your children are watching you closely. It is never too late. Thank you.
LET’S MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
Dr. Bevinsathya.
Beautiful thought
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